Few kinks are as notorious as consensual impact play. Bottom spanking is arguably one of the most convenient and most recognizable fetishes. To begin with, all you need is a hand and a willing butt. However, as many people seem to be discovering, there’s more to impact play than meets the ass… I mean, eye.
A recent sex toy report into the sexual preferences of 30,000 people from around the world, found that 27% of respondents owned BDSM equipment ranging from restraints to gags and spanking tools. A delicious combination.
If you’re looking to take your impact play from small pats on the bum to full-body shuddering hits, stick around. This is a blow-by-blow account of how to make impact play a satisfying element in your erotic encounters and chastity games.
Defining Impact Play (And Understanding What It Isn’t)
A form of sensation play that relies on power dynamics, impact play involves a Dominant and a submissive. With the submissive’s consent, the Dominant person slaps, hits, punches, or kicks them. And depending on the agreed boundaries in place, the Dominant uses their hands, feet, or a tool.
Doms can find pleasure in watching their submissive squirm and writhe as each stroke lands. For subs, the sensation of their skin warming under each stroke can be a turn on. But this play is only playing when whoever is involved freely and enthusiastically consents to being hit or doing the hitting. Anything outside of this is abuse.
Prepare to keep impact play safe and consensual by:
- Discussing and agreeing on boundaries.
- Setting a safe word or using the traffic light system.
- Communicating any traumas or triggers that could affect play.
- Understanding each other’s limits and being clear on what’s a flexible limit and a hard limit.
The Deeper Appeal of Impact Play
Hitting can feel like a form of emotional release. As strange as this sounds, it can deepen the connection between a Dom and their sub. Through controlled aggression and impact, people can explore feelings and sensations in a mindful way that can be difficult to access in their vanilla lives. (Because, ya know, going around hitting and punching people isn’t the done thing.) Impact play can also be a way to reframe trauma.
Take all of the above. Then sprinkle it with the heady blend of pain and pleasure, control and vulnerability that comes with spanking and you’ve got a recipe for getting the endorphins pumping. The cherry on top? The marks. Assuming you both consent to that.
Reddened skin, welts, and bruises serve as a memento of your shared experience, that can be enjoyed long after play has ended.
Locking It in With Chastity
Unlike some kinks, your cage can stay on during impact play. Assuming you’re avoiding impact to the inner thigh or genital area, that is. (More on this shortly.) This makes it a good punishment option for those times when your Keyholder needs to enforce their control without compromising your pledge.
Is impact play the same as spanking?
Yes, spanking is a form of impact play. But spanking means striking the body with just the hand, rather than using a tool. It’s perhaps the easiest way to deliver impact play but there is a drawback for the Dominant. A sore hand. Which is why tools for those longer sessions are so damn useful.
Tools That Make an Impact
Whips, paddles, canes, and crops deliver different sensations. That’s why most Mistresses have more than one implement to play with.
Paddles
Hand spanking is the easiest form of impact play. But paddling is a close second and a strong choice if you’re box fresh to spanking tools.
For the Dominant, a short handle and sizable head make landing each blow much easier. In terms of feel, subs can expect a deep, thudding spank as the paddle’s wide surface area spreads the impact across the skin. For new subs, this may be easier to tolerate than a cane or crop.
An added paddle plus point: they’re double-sided. Most have different textures for each side, so there’s more sensation to experiment with.
Paddle Action Tips
- Aim for the bum cheeks and around the top of the thighs.
- Avoid nearby danger zones like the kidneys, coccyx, and spine.
- Begin with small, light spanks and build the intensity.
- For variation, add an upward flick on each swing to lift the buttock slightly.
Floggers
A multi-tendril marvel, floggers look and sound great when their tendrils fly through the air. They also offer two different sensations depending on your action.
- A deep thudding smack, similar to a paddle.
- Short, sharp strokes when just the tips of the tendrils are used.
The size, number of tendrils, and material affect the sensation. For example, floggers made from rubbery elastic, suede, or faux leather feel gentler on the skin compared to real leather ones. While larger and heavier ones deliver firm, hard thuds compared to smaller, lighter designs. As a general tip, the bigger the flogger is and the more tendrils it has, the tougher it is to wield.
Fast Flogging Tips
- Doms, use the wrist loop attached to the handle for full control.
- Practice on a pillow or cushion before moving onto the body. Aim to land the tendrils in the same position each time.
- Rotate your wrist in a rhythmic, circular motion for short sharp strokes.
- Make a figure-eight motion so more of the tendrils come into contact with the body.
- Reserve heavy blows for the thighs and bum.
- Lighter, softer impact can be used across the lower legs, and when your aim gets really good, on the nipples or genitals.
Riding Crops
Anything that’s long, thin, and straight is likely to deliver stinging blows. Subs should indeed feel some trepidation when they see the riding crop come out to play. But if you’re the one in control, make sure you mix up the strength of the blows. The single, flexible tip is excellent for gently stroking and tapping freshly whipped skin or more sensitive areas, like nipples and the legs.
Get It Right With Riding Crops
- A popular choice during pet play scenes, as well as corporal punishment or military-style role-plays.
- Reserve these blows for bottoms and upper thighs only.
- For more sensitive areas, lightly tap or stroke the body with the crop tip.
- Mix the impact intensity to keep a submissive on their toes.
Canes and Switches
Not for the faint-hearted, canes and switches are long and thin, and generally made from flexible bamboo or wood. Blows are sharp and the sting will linger. Anyone keen for a session souvenir might prefer to use these tools as they can leave thin, red marks on the skin.
Steadfast Switch Skills
- Make a satisfying whip-cracking sound by flicking your wrist as the cane makes contact with the body.
- The action and momentum come from the wrist, not the whole arm.
- Start light and increase intensity.
- Limit your use of these tools.
Stocking up Your Tool Bag
Part of the fun for Doms is taking a submissive through a range of sensations and intensities. So, it’s worth having 2, 3, or 20 impact play tools in your kit bag. You can, of course, buy all of your purpose-made BDSM whips. But sometimes using what’s randomly to hand can add an unexpected twist to a session.
Take a look around your home and you’ll likely find plenty of everyday objects that offer similar sensations to those designed by whip specialists. For example, you could experiment with:
- A belt.
- The back of a hairbrush.
- A kitchen spoon or spatula.
- A slipper or thongs (flip flops).
- A small cheese board or chopping board.
Subs, you may never look at these items the same way again.
Whip Up a Successful Spanking Session With These 5 Simple Tips
And make sure your impact play brings pleasure and just the right amount of pain.
1. Before You Start. Agree on Where Blows Can Land and What You Can Use
I’ve already said it, but it’s worth repeating: impact play is only play when full consent is given to the action. So, the person being whipped or hit gets to specify where they’re comfortable receiving the blows.
They may want you (or need you) to stay away from certain areas of their body, perhaps as a way to avoid the risk of marks being visible, or they have past trauma. It might even come down to how sensitive their skin is. You both need to be clear on these boundaries before raising a finger.
The same goes for toys that can and can’t be used. If consent is only given for a paddle or hairbrush to strike the skin, then that’s what you must stick to.
2. Make Sure You Both Warm-up
Impact play is very physical. Going straight in with heavy blows will hurt both of you. (And wear you out faster.) It’s wise to warm up with a few manual hand spanks to start.
From a practical perspective, a slow warm-up gives the Dom a chance to get into a smooth, rhythmic action. For the spankee, the lighter impact will bring blood to the surface of the skin, preparing them for what’s coming. Emotionally, starting with traditional spanking allows for skin-to-skin contact, building the connection between you.
3. Start Light, Build Up, and Vary the Action
When you move on to using your whip or cane of choice, start with light blows so everyone can prepare and brace themselves for those bigger, heavier ones. (If they’re coming.) Gradual pain buildup is easier to tolerate than going from zero to 100.
Varying your action is also key to prolonging the session. Impact play can be physically (and emotionally) draining. It takes a lot of energy. Going hell for leather on every blow is a fast way to fade out. Take moments of softer, lighter hits to rest a little and regroup.
4. When to Stop
Keep checking in with each other asking, “Are you OK?” or “Still green?” if using the traffic light system. You may also have an agreed visible limit that you reach. For example, if marks show, that may be a sign to stop. Or if the skin breaks, then that’s a hard limit to end play.
5. Allow for Aftercare Time
Always allow yourselves time to come down from the rush of emotions and sensations. Discuss what you liked, what you didn’t, and what each of you experienced as the play went on. Depending on your relationship, your BDSM aftercare may include time spent cuddling or holding each other, and reminding yourselves that the actions taken were only for the scene and don’t reflect or represent how you feel generally.
Impact Play Hot Spots - Safe Places to Hit
The general rule is that fleshy bits are the fun bits. They’re the safest places to aim for. So we’re talking:
- The buttocks.
- The thighs (front and back).
- The forearms below the elbow.
As your tolerance builds and you become more experienced, then you might venture into areas of the body that are more sensitive but considered low risk. These include:
- The calves.
- The inner thighs.
- The upper arms and shoulder blades.
- The breasts, chest, and nipples.
- Soles of feet.
- The genitals.
On those last two, make sure you absolutely stick to light tapping.
Danger Zones
Avoid impact to areas of the body where there are vital organs and dense nerve systems. These areas should never receive direct impact. So here, we’re talking about:
- The stomach.
- The back and spine.
- Achilles and lower backs of legs.
- Front lower legs.
- The head.
- Inner elbows.
- Back of the knees.
It’s worth checking out this color coded image for full clarification.
Taking Impact Play Below the Belt
Looking for something more? You daredevil. Then let’s talk ball kicking or ballbusting—the advanced-level impact play.
Getting their nuts kicked and paddled really gets some guys off. Sometimes they love it:
- For the humiliation factor.
- Because they’re masochists.
- As a reminder of the inescapable weakness of men.
- Because they enjoy watching a Dominant trample over their manhood for their own amusement and pleasure.
This is not light and breezy bedroom bondage stuff. Getting ballbusting wrong can trigger a trip to the accident and emergency room. So before heading into this, you and your partner will have:
- Played together for some time.
- Be great communicators and trust each other.
- Know each other’s limits and boundaries.
- Have explored other impact play together.
- Have watched video of ballbusting or researched it so each of you know what you do and don’t like about it.
Eager to go ahead? Oh sweetie, you are brave. Just make sure you take your cage or chastity belt off first. Play might start with some light cock and ball torture - squeezing or pulling the balls - before progressing to gentle kicks or hits.
A pro Dom contributing to the ballbusting article on Kinky, suggests that you “begin softly, asking the client to rate each blow on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most painful or potentially unpleasant and one being barely noticeable.” People tolerate pain differently, so finding out where your tolerance sits on the scale will guide the Dominant and help keep play safe.
Bring More Chastity Pain to Your Impact Pleasure
Play is fun when you have options and ways to make it your own. And BDSM impact play definitely delivers on that front. Whether you leave the cage on or not (not for ballbusting), where you hit, which tools you use, and even the roleplays you indulge in, means you can easily weave spanking, whipping, and smacking into most scenes.
The sensation of the impact might be as much pain as you can tolerate. But if you feel you can go further, why not try coupling it with extreme chastity?
