MEN IN CHASTITY: THE HOWS (AND WHYS) OF ROCKING A LOCKED COCK
His entire body trembles, every touch threatening to overwhelm him. Pleasure courses through him, like electric shocks caressing his long-neglected cock. Finally, after months of denial, he is just a few strokes away from release. His hips buck forward, seeking, yearning…
…only to feel the cock cage once again secured around his still-throbbing organ. Though he did not orgasm, the good feeling does not leave him – his body continues to rock and twitch with pleasurable sensations as his chastity continues for another day.
Does the scenario above sound hot? Erotic? Intense? All of the above, but also a little bit intimidating?
Don’t worry! Achieving that kind of pleasure and trust in your relationship is much simpler than it seems. The journey into male chastity can seem a daunting one, paved with rules, stress, and expectations. Perhaps you’ve read stories that portray male chastity as an elaborate theater requiring a truly staggering amount of props and a need to keep your audience constantly on edge. Maybe you’ve seen example chastity contracts with lists of rules pages upon pages long. But male chastity is more than just complex scenarios and endless rules.
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At its core, male chastity is the concept of limiting or a denying a man’s orgasms, usually with the aid of a device, as a way of exerting dominance and control. It’s simple, erotic, and fulfilling for all involved.
Male chastity is many things to many couples. It’s a fantasy. It’s a role-play scenario that fulfills the kinks of one, both or all partners. It’s a lifestyle that informs the relationship’s dynamic 24/7. It’s something new they’re trying for the first time after some online research. It’s the way they’ve lived for the past twenty years.
Whether you’re brand new to male chastity or it’s been your relationship style for years, we here at LockTheCock have what you need. Our site’s informative articles teach you everything from the basics of being a keyholder to erotic, imaginative play ideas to spice up your teasing sessions. We’ve even got male chastity stories to bring you happy, denial-filled dreams. And, of course, we provide resources for that most important step on your personal male chastity journey – selecting the right device for you or your partner(s).
Why Lock It?
Understanding the Popularity of Male Chastity
If you found your way here, most likely either you have fantasized about male chastity or your partner has. You might be nervous. You might even be terrified. You might be struggling to explain to your partner exactly why these fantasies have inhabited your mind for so long. You might have the desire to make your loved one’s spiciest dreams come true but not be quite sure if you’re as into it as they are.
If you’re scared, nervous or in any way uncertain, let us make a promise to you, right now:
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to in your relationship or sexual life.
Understood that? Good.
Now that we’ve made you that promise, it’s time for some advice:
Talk to your partner(s). Reading this article, or a thousand like it, will not serve as a substitute for a genuine conversation with your partner or partners about consent, fantasies, hard limits, or anything else. All we can do is inform you of the best, safest and most pleasurable ways to engage in this unique and wonderful type of play.
Have you had that conversation? Good. Now, if you’re interested in trying out male chastity – or even think you might be – let’s get into a little bit of just why people of all genders and sexualities make their bedrooms rock with a locked cock.
Male chastity is an intense and pleasurable experience both for the caged and denied submissive partner and the dominant partner who hold the key. Because what each gets out of it is so unique, we’ve provided an explanation of “why chastity” from both perspectives.
So You Want to Get Locked?
Men (or cock-possessing non-male-identifying individuals) who wish to submit to their partner are often attracted to the idea of symbolically surrendering their cock itself. It’s one of the most intimate forms of surrender – nothing says “I trust you” more than “you control even my body’s most very intimate parts and functions”.
Of course, male chastity isn’t just about what the dominant gets out of it. Wearing a chastity belt, cock ring or cock cage quite literally prevents your orgasm without your partner’s explicit permission, signified by removing the device.
Why deny? Well, to put it simply, denial results in some of the most intense, amazing male orgasms it is physically possible to have.
Psychological Effects of Male Chastity
When a man has an orgasm, his brain releases a chemical called dopamine. Basically, dopamine makes you happy, physically and emotionally. It’s that high you get when you complete a task or reach a goal or eat your favorite meal and suddenly you feel like you could take on the world.
The male orgasm is one of—if not the—most potent shots of dopamine your brain can get.
After orgasm, the brain follows up with a second chemical, known as prolactin. Prolactin relaxes you; it causes the sluggish “afterglow” feeling that follows a really good orgasm.
In men, prolactin forces the dopamine to leave your system quickly. This is the reason that the average male orgasm tends to be short (lasting only 5-10 seconds) and the tired post-coital feeling comes on so quickly.
But what does a male orgasm look like after a month of being snugly denied within a cock cage?
Studies show when a male orgasms after a significant period of denial (usually several days to several weeks), his brain releases more dopamine and less prolactin, allowing for a longer, more intense orgasm. Additionally, the dopamine stays in his system longer – for up to several days after orgasm – allowing him to continue feeling happy and energized.
In short, there is a valid scientific reason why enforced male chastity produces longer and better orgasms with pleasurable, beneficial after effects.
Other Benefits of Enforced Male Chastity – For Him
But we get it – hormones aren’t sexy. (Unless that’s your thing. We don’t judge!) There are other reasons beyond the scientific to engage in male chastity.
You get to submit to your partner. You get to make her (or him, or them – people of all orientations enjoy chastity play!) feel confident, sexy and in command.
You get to be reminded of the submissive little slave and pet that you are. Most likely, the reminders come in physical form – you can constantly feel that cage keeping your poor neglected cock from getting hard or ejaculating.
And, at the end of all of it, when you’ve been a good enough boy to earn your release, you get to have a mind-blowing, earth-shattering, simply amazing orgasm.
Enforced male chastity is any submissive’s dream. Maybe you’re locked up as punishment because you came before your partner would let you. Maybe your caging is a permanent one, with orgasms earned by good behavior. Either way, you’re totally, completely and most importantly physically at your keyholder’s control. Even when temptation strikes and you so desperately want to succumb, you simply can’t – that cage around your cock will come off if and only if your partner allows it.
Of course, there’s a number of kinks that can be combined with male chastity to result in an even sexier experience.
Are you a fan of foreplay? A simple cock cage cleaning session can turn into an extended tease that sets your every nerve on fire.
How about prostate stimulation? When you’re caged, that humble bundle of nerves is often your best and only hope of producing the spine-tingling sexual sensations denied to your cock.
Pain’s your game? Spanking is a lovely punishment for those times when you just can’t hold it until you’re given permission.
Exhibitionism up your alley? Have your keyholder take you out in public in tight pants as you try to hide the bulge of the cage and the rattle of your padlock.
Feel like some feminization? The sissies among us can invest in a perfectly pink cock cage, and how about adding some nice tight panties, stockings or garters? (Chosen by your partner, of course!)
If you’re looking for even more ideas, check out our play ideas, game suggestions, or perhaps one of our spicy stories to stimulate your imagination. There’s pretty much nothing you can’t do while caged – well, except have an orgasm, of course!
So You Want to Lock Him Up?
Maybe you’re a natural dominant who dreams of seeing a caged man kneeling before you. Perhaps you’d never heard of male chastity before your partner shyly confessed his fantasies to you, but you’re willing to give it a try. Or you’re somewhere in the middle – eager and excited but not quite sure where to begin.
Either way, you’re probably asking myself – what’s in it for me? Does an enforced male chastity dynamic include ways for me to feel good, experience pleasure and leave satisfied?
The answer to that is simple – absolutely, completely, utterly, yes.
Sure, he’s the one who’s going to be wearing the cage, experiencing the physical sensations of being temporarily or permanently in chastity. Where does that leave you? Well, you’re the one who holds the key – you are the person to whom he has surrendered complete and utter control of what’s most likely his favorite and most well-used part of his body.
It’s all yours, you lucky thing!
How Does His Chastity Benefit You?
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should forgo having conversations with your partner both before and throughout incorporating chastity into your dynamic. What it does mean is that you make the rules. What does your caged partner need to do to earn his orgasms? It’s up to you to decide.
This is a great way to make your own interests or kinks a part of a chastity relationship. Is your man a virtuoso with his tongue? Maybe he provides those services daily for a week. Want to walk him around the house on a leash while calling him your pet, or have him lick your high heels? Insert kink here - chastity allows you to ask – or demand – any such favor of him while promising a reward that he’ll do anything to earn!
Many people who keep their partners in chastity report that their caged man has gotten better at satisfying them. The decrease in focus on his own orgasm gives him time to learn more about your body and what makes you moan, wriggle and have orgasms just as explosive as the ones he – occasionally – enjoys!
Taking Chastity Beyond the Bedroom
But wait, you ask. I’m no professional dominatrix. I’m not even sure if I have a dominant bone in my body. Does agreeing to explore chastity with my partner mean I’m going to have to become a whip-wielding corset-wearing ice queen or king?
No. If you are, or want to be, any of those things, that’s great! But if you aren’t? Also fabulous!
Start slow and small. Tease him by wearing his favorite dress of yours, or one of his shirts, around the house all day. Tell him about a sexy dream you had while he sits patiently caged. Whips and heels don’t have to come into it unless you want them to.
If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, especially starting out, like it’s all too much for you all at once? Tease and torment him by forbidding discussion of chastity or mentioning the cage for a whole day, or even a week! What could be crueler?
Chastity is about an exchange - limiting your partner’s orgasms in exchange for what you want. Whatever you want. And that’s not limited to sex! Chastity, especially long term, enforced chastity, can become a part of your daily life.
When you’re working with your partner to brainstorm a list of tasks he could perform to earn an orgasm, think outside the bed! For example, he could wash the dishes, cook your favorite meals a couple times per week, or give you a nice relaxing massage. The best kind of chastity relationship is one where both (or all) partners are satisfied not just physically, but emotionally as well.
Turning Up the Heat
If you are looking to venture over to the harder side of things, however, male chastity opens up plenty of lovely options there as well! Train your partner to love your strap-on milking his prostate even more than he loves having his cock touched. Spank him, whip him or torment his balls when he breaks one of your rules. And when you do finally relent and allow him that orgasm after months of tormented waiting? Send him to his knees to lick up his own mess – each drop that he misses adds a day to his next time caged!
Take a look at our play ideas page or our example contract to get even more ideas for rules and tasks. Or, head on over to our keyholder article for an even more in-depth explanation of just what it means to be the one who holds the keys to both your partner’s heart and his cock.
So…What Exactly Is a Male Chastity Device?
The term “male chastity device” refers to any item that can be used to control or outright deny a man’s ability to achieve erection and/or orgasm. Commonly used male chastity devices include cock rings, sounds, chastity belts, and, of course, the classic cock cage.
Rings are better suited to one-time play sessions, while chastity belts are expensive and must be custom-made for each user. If you’re thinking about making male chastity a regular or permanent – but also affordable-- part of your relationship dynamic, then a cock cage is the item for you!
A cock cage is a tool that envelops the entire penis and secures the testicles, allowing the man to urinate freely but preventing his ability to become erect, orgasm, or even touch and rub his own cock. Some models consist of a series of rings, while others feature a single ring located behind the testicles and a penis-shaped tube with a hole at the tip for urination. Provided that you clean them regularly, cock cages are suitable for long-term use and 24/7 enforced chastity.
Most cock cages are secured by a lock, with the key being in the possession of the dominant partner or, in some cases, a trusted outsider such as a professional keyholder.
Customers can choose between a cage with an external padlock or one with an internal locking device. The external lock allows for a visual reminder of the keyholder’s power and control over the caged partner, while the internal mechanism is rattle-free and perfect for the extra thrill of attending public events while locked up!
How to Choose the Right Male Chastity Device for Your Cock (or your partner’s)
Cock cages are like Cinderella’s glass slipper – it’s important to find the one that fits you or your partner’s penis just right. Our LockTheCock cages come in a variety of sizes and colors. Black or white make a dramatic statement, clear allows you a perfect view of that twitching, desperate organ, and pink adds that extra feminine touch for men who want to be reminded just how much of a sissy they are. Enforced chastity has never been so stylish!
For those who prefer a little extra sensation, a metal cock cage might just be the answer. A stainless steel device opens up a world of options for heat, cold and other kinds of temperature and sensation play. There’s absolutely nothing like the feel of steel against flesh to serve as a constant reminder of your captivity. Just be wary of going through airport security!
If a shock’s more what your locked cock is looking for, try a silicon cage with built-in electric capability. The keyholder keeps control of a remote that allows them to decide the number of shocks as well as the intensity and duration.
Mild electric shocks to his sensitive organ can be a stimulating addition to play, serving as either reward or punishment. Perfect for keeping your caged partner on their toes! Like our standard products, our cock-shockers come in multiple colors including dominant black, devilish red, and exhibitionist clear.
Cock cages are extremely easy to use and require minimal care and upkeep. If you or your partner are trying out enforced chastity for the first time, take a look at our safety & comfort page for more information about how to keep your cock cage clean and the cock it cages safe and healthy!
How To Measure For a Male Chastity Device: Life Isn’t a Cock-Measuring Contest…But Buying a Cage Definitely Is
Before making your cock cage purchase, the first step is to measure you (or your partner’s) penis to ensure a correct fit. Most cock cages consist of two components: a ring for the testicles and a tube or series of rings for the cock itself. The ring prevents orgasm, while the cage or tube makes erection difficult to achieve or maintain.
The ring component is sized using the diameter. It is important that the ring fit snugly around the cock, preventing the release of semen, without being tight enough to cut off circulation of blood.
Use a measuring tape or a piece of string and a ruler to measure the circumference of the penis just behind the testicles. For the most accurate measurement, perform this task immediately after a hot shower or bath so that blood is circulating actively in the area.
Divide the resulting measurement by pi (approximately 3.14) to obtain the diameter, as seen in the examples below:
circumference behind testicles of 7 inches ÷ 3.14 = cock ring diameter of 2.25 inches
circumference behind testicles of 5.5 inches ÷ 3.14 = cock ring diameter of 1.5 inches
If you’re still unsure, many of our products come with a set of 2-5 rings of differing sizes to allow for experimentation!
The size of the cage or tube that contains the penis is up to you and your partner. Larger, looser cages may allow for a partial erection while tighter, smaller ones prevent it entirely. Fans of cock humiliation might want to check out our line of “extra small” products. Talk with your partner and make sure to pick out a cock cage that is right for your dynamic!
If you’re new to chastity and not sure what size cage is right for you, a good estimate is between ¼ and ½ inch shorter than the length of the penis when completely flaccid. This allows for a feeling of being confined without being squeezed so tightly as to restrict or prevent blood flow or urination.
How to Put On, and Wear a Male Chastity Device
Once your cage has arrived, it’s time to get locked up! The keyholder should perform or assist with caging their partner – it’s a sensual bonding experience as well as practical for understanding how the device works. Plus, slooooowly slipping him into his cage and locking him up is a perfect opportunity for teasing!
There are two types of rings, hinged and solid.
To put on a hinged ring, open it to its widest extent and place it around the penis behind the testicles. Close the ring gently, making sure not to catch any skin in the hinge (unless you’re deliberately doing so as a tease or punishment!) You will hear a click when the ring is closed properly.
To put on a solid ring, first ensure that the penis is completely flaccid. Push the testicles through the ring one at a time; finally, bend the penis downwards and gently slip it through the ring. Using a small amount of baby oil or your favorite lube can make applying a solid ring a smoother process.
Once the ring is securely on – snug but not too tight – it’s time to add the tube!
Again, baby oil or the lube of your choice is a recommended tool for this step, as is making sure that the penis is completely flaccid. Adventurous keyholders can even apply ice or lower the temperature to make the cock tinier and the application process even smoother!
Gently rub (or have the keyholder rub!) the oil/lube all over the glans of the penis and then slide it slowly and gently into the tube. Attach the tube to the ring – most of our products use a series of pins to make connecting the two components extremely simple!
Don’t Forget Safety & Hygiene!
Once the ring and cage are properly and securely connected, it’s time to lock up! Fasten the padlock and have the keyholder store the key somewhere safe and secure. Our products come with two keys, allowing the keyholder to display one prominently on their person while keeping the other in a protected location.
First-timers and veterans alike, always make sure that at least one key is located somewhere where it cannot be easily lost, stolen or damaged.
Now you’re all locked up! While it’s up to you to decide how long your enforced chastity session will last, it’s recommended to remove the cage at least every 3-4 days for cleaning of both the device and the penis.
If you or your partner are trying out a cock cage for the first time, shorter sessions, may be needed as your/his cock adjusts to its new home. Try starting out with 24 hours of confinement and gradually increasing the length each time if he’s a bad boy – or a good one!
Male Chastity Pain
While cages may be uncomfortable, they should never cause the user pain. Caged partners, make sure to tell your keyholder immediately if you are experiencing any pain, swelling, itchiness, dry/flaking skin, difficulty urinating, or discoloration of any part of the penis or testicles.
Customers are encouraged to check out our safety & comfort page for additional tips on cleaning your device and keeping you or your partner’s cock hygienic and healthy!
After the “Click”….You’re Locked, What Next?
The ring has clicked shut. The key is safely in its holder’s control. So…what next? Enforced chastity is about more than just the cage, right, so….what’s supposed to happen now?
It’s okay! We’re here to help you through that too!
First, if you haven’t already, talk.
Some questions you might discuss: How long is the cage going to stay on? If this is you or your partner’s first time caged, it shouldn’t be more than a day or two. Even if your cock cage is the perfect fit, it’s going to take a little getting used to.
Start with smaller periods of time, gradually increasing each session until you’ve reached the length of time that works for you and your partner. That might be one hour a day. It might be one day a year. Or it might be 24/7/365. The only right answer is one that you and your partner decide on together!
Male Chastity Training: An Example
For someone who is using a cock cage for the first time, an example first few sessions might progress as followed:
First, the caged partner is locked up for 24 hours, to make sure the device fits properly without pain or chafing.
Second, the caged partner is locked up for three days. Whether or not orgasm is allowed at the end of this period is at the discretion of the couple, but release from the case definitively occurs after 72 hours. Both cage and penis are given a thorough cleaning and inspected for any injuries or damage.
Third, the caged partner is locked up for seven days. During this period, experimentation begins with rules or tasks – earning an earlier release for good behavior or prolonging it via misbehaving. However, the caging should ideally not be extended beyond 30 days, as this is still considered part of the trial period.
During the trial period, the caged partner should have a particular safeword that means “immediate removal of the device,” which he can use in the case of injury or major discomfort.
Of course, safewords should always be utilized during chastity play, but it is especially important that a caged individual have the ability to opt-out quickly while his penis is getting adjusted to the feeling of being confined.
Once the three trial sessions are complete, you and your partner can move on to experimenting with long-term chastity if you choose – a week, a month, three months or even a year without orgasm! The only limits are the ones you choose to set yourself!
Forever and Beyond: Living with Male Chastity
So, you’ve completed your test sessions, the cage fits perfectly, and you’ve decided that maybe long-term or permanent enforced chastity is for you. Does this mean the caged partner will never orgasm again? Does this mean you’re now in a female led relationship (aka female centered relationship)? Does this mean the dominant partner now controls every aspect of the relationship, from what you eat for dinner to what you spend your shared finances on?
The answer to all three of those questions is the same: “only if you and your partner want.”
Those questions represent three of the most common misconceptions about long-term male chastity relationship: that the caged man never receives an orgasm, that chastity automatically equals female led relationship, and that it must by extension include elements such as financial domination and complete lifestyle control.
These are dynamics that can, but do not have to, be added to your long-term chastity relationship.
Let’s address the biggest question first – orgasms.
Chastity for Life: No More Orgasms??!!?? Male Chastity Punishment??!
Misconception: if you choose to be caged long-term, you will never have an orgasm again.
Nope! Orgasms will continue to be a part of your sex life if you and your partner want them to be. They will occur with less frequency than before, but will be all the more intense as a result.
But, how often will the caged partner get to come, then?
Well, as often as he earns it, of course!
Decide on a set of rules together with your partner or partners. Perhaps orgasms will be granted or not on a punishment-based system, where bad behavior or failing to complete assigned tasks will result in the caged partner’s next uncaging and/or orgasm being pushed further back by one or several days.
Or maybe a reward-based system works better for you. This means that completing tasks or going above and beyond to please the keyholder allows the caged partner to earn orgasms or cage-free time more quickly.
Or, schedule guaranteed orgasms on special days – birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries are popular dates to choose. Don’t forget to celebrate the anniversary of adding male chastity to your relationship – that’s a special milestone for you and your partner as well!
Remember - A Man’s More Than a Cock!
Male chastity also allows for the opportunity to explore the many different types of orgasm that a man can have. Of course, penetrative sex can still be part of your dynamic if you choose, but there’s orgasms from oral and manual stimulation – and anal/prostate milking too!
Men who have been caged for long period of time report their bodies learning how orgasm from prostate stimulation alone, which can be just as if not more satisfying as stimulating the cock!
Check out our game ideas page for suggestions about how to use dice, cards, a wheel or other props to add an element of chance to your orgasms. Or, check out our article explaining all the fun you can have with ruined orgasms!
She Does What??!!??: Female/Wife Led Relationships/marriage with husband/bf locked in chastity
Misconception: a relationship featuring male chastity must by necessity be a 100% female-led relationship
What is a female led relationship, aka female centered relationship or female led marriage? A FLR is when the female takes the lead role in making decisions for the relationship. (Or, a queer or polyamorous relationship with a similar dynamic of one partner holding most or all of the control.)
This extends above and beyond the female partner being dominant sexually – what is sometimes colloquially known as “femdom”.
She (or, he, or they, or whatever the dominant partner’s preferred pronoun might be) makes decisions such as assigning chores to her caged partner, picking out clothing, especially particular undergarments, for him to wear, and of course when and how he will be allowed to remove his cock from the cage and experience orgasm.
In some cases, a complete FLR may extend to even larger-scale decisions, such as what and when you and your partner eat for meals, where you go on vacation, what events you attend and so on.
The dominant partner also has complete freedom to add rules as they please, such as requiring nudity within the home or demanding particular forms of address such as master/mistress or ma’am. It goes without saying that punishments and discipline are also within the dominant partner’s control – spanking, whipping and other similar activities are a common element of many FLR.
A relationship which includes chastity does not have to be a total FLR.
You and your partner may still choose to handle your daily lives as a team, or grant one partner control in some areas and the other in others. Remember, the rules are what you make them!
If you and your partner do decide that FLR or a similar dynamic is right for you, make sure to frequently touch base with one another. It’s important that both partners needs are being met in all aspects of your shared lifestyle.
Both the caged and dominant partners should have safewords they can use to end the dynamic – being in control all the time can be both mentally and physically exhausting, and even doms/dommes need a break sometimes too!
Closely related to the topic of FLR / femdom is our last common concern:
Money, Money, Money: Financial Domination
Misconception: A relationship which includes male chastity must also include financial domination.
Nope! Financial domination, or findom, is often closely linked to chastity in fiction and visual erotica because of their shared connection to kinks such as discipline, humiliation, sissification and female-led dynamics.
However, financial domination (a dynamic in which one partner holds sole control over the financial aspects of the relationship, including deciding what the partnership’s money should be spent on and when) is its own separate concept.
Like enforced male chastity, you and your partner should talk in depth and establish clear rules before engaging in financial domination. Consult an informational website or with a professional before deciding if financial domination is right for your relationship.
A “Happy Ending,” At Last…
We’ve talked at length in this article both about what male chastity is and what it is not. We’ve given you tips on the why, the what and the how of introducing this exciting new dynamic into your relationship.
So where do you go from here?
Our website includes a number of informative articles on all aspects of the male chastity lifestyle. Read about keyholding, ruined orgasms, contracts and more, all here on our helpful LocktheCock website! Or head over to captions, games or stories to start planning your next play session!
And, of course, whether you’re buying a cock cage for the first time or upgrading to a newer, more intense model after years of experience, our wide range of products has something for you. From extra-small plastic cages in sissy pink to imposing stainless steel cock cages, we’ve got the right lock for your cock!
Wishing you luck, pleasure, and infrequent but mind-blowing orgasms!