A Kinky Guide for Chastity Slaves & Keyholders

Looking to try a naughty chastity slave and Keyholder relationship? Want to add a kink or two? Check out our kinky guide for chastity slaves and Keyholders to learn more!

A Kinky Guide for Chastity Slaves & Keyholders

Are you looking to control or humiliate your man and gain endless obedience from him? Do you want to take complete ownership of his cock as the Keyholder and get the power to dominate his every orgasm? What is the secret to a healthy yet infinitely kinky relationship between the chastity slave and the Keyholder?

If you’ve ever tried some light bondage and are thinking about new ways in which your male could serve you, chastity play could be the next step. As a Mistress and a chastity Keyholder, you can lock him up and put away the key. You'll be the one who decides what to do with his cock and balls along with the rest of his body and his sexual desires. And as a male slave, you’ll be desperate for her dominance and will have to satisfy her every whim. But what are some crucial things to keep in mind as the Keyholder and the chastity slave? And is there more to this type of play than just brutal domination?

This kinky guide will cover every BDSM chastity-related fetish from light bondage, extreme painplay, and orgasm denial to merciless femdom and financial domination. We’ll even tell you how to train your little slave’s asshole and milk his prostate! Sounds good? Keep reading to find out all about “locking the cock” and spice up your BDSM adventures with chastity play (or vice versa)!

Bondage (B)

Before we unlock the secrets of male chastity, it’s vital to point out that this fetish is not as simple as one may imagine. Firstly, a male slave has to be properly “broken-in.” You will need to train him on a physical as well as emotional level beforehand.

Chastity Slaves Explained

To make the most out of penis punishment, orgasm control, and lighter forms of chastity play, every aspiring Keyholder should take her time to prepare her slave properly. The reason here is that a newly appointed chastity slave may not be able to handle it right away. That is, if you simply lock his cock up without any previous training, it could result in serious discomfort or frustration. While it surely sounds kinky to lock him up and torture his private parts from the beginning, it may be better to start with some basic bondage.

Why You Should “Lock the Cock”

Even before the male ends up in a chastity cage, couples should think about the purpose of this fetish. It’s worth saying that people practicing chastity play do it for different reasons. The most obvious is that the Keyholder could wish to gain full control over a slave’s orgasms and punish his genitalia.

However, another approach is to consider chastity as a means of protecting a male slave. That way, it may not only be about denying his orgasms. It could be about improving his self-control and confidence. With chastity training, you could train him to last longer. Both of you could have fun with this fetish and build momentum toward the ultimate sexual release! Hundreds of couples experiment with short- and long-term chastity worldwide, and it’s a process and a lifestyle that can be approached in many forms of BDSM.

Obviously, bondage is the first ingredient of the BDSM formula. Besides being endlessly hot, it’s a fantastic way to keep your man’s hands off his junk. So before getting him accustomed to a chastity belt or cage, try to tie him up first. You can restrain his arms and legs to prevent him from touching his dick, balls, asshole, or any other area that gives him pleasure. Then, you’ll be able to take control of his cock, gag him, torture him, and essentially, dictate when and how he cums (or not).

Bondage With Your New Cock Slave

Overall, bondage is infinitely versatile. It’s an excellent starting point since couples can get creative and use all sorts of tools (a rope, scarf, professional harness, etc.). From there, both of you can experiment in many ways.

After some bondage sessions during which you’ll take full ownership of his cock and orgasms, he’ll be ready for a chastity device. It may also be clever to have him abstain for a couple of days before locking him up. Of course, the slave will need a chastity device that fits him. At first, try a belt or cage for only a few hours or overnight to get used to the sensation. And another word of advice for future slaves: it’s essential to shave and make sure your skin can handle the chastity device. After a couple of sessions of wearing it overnight, try a week of uninterrupted confinement!

Depending on the plan, the Keyholder could decide when the slave is allowed to cum. You could both agree on a set time or try some other tricks like prostate milking. In any case, after you’ve prepared your servant to be locked up, you can release him for regular bondage sessions. You can tie him up for daily or weekly cleaning, and then, do whatever you please with his unlocked penis. After that, a slave will be ready for a lifestyle of inescapable chastity with many more BDSM kinks to come.

Dominant & Submissive (DS) — Femdom

So what is the purpose of a chastity relationship? Well, chastity cages and belts are ultimately about power play. They are used to emphasize the dominant and submissive roles.

The Roles Explained

In essence, those devices are used on the submissive while the dominant, aka the Keyholder, is the one who decides the rules. This type of power dynamic can result in sexual pleasure for the dominant, submissive, or both sides, depending on what you plan to accomplish.

However, for successful chastity play, both roles will have to establish trust and set some clear boundaries. Keep in mind that the male or the sub is essentially offering up his obedience as a gift. It’s something that shouldn’t be exploited. You’ll need to discuss your goals, fantasies, and limits.

Additionally, the Keyholder has to consider their servant’s emotions and boundaries. On the other hand, the dominant must express her own desires and limitations. And above all, safety is vital in the dominant/submissive chastity relationship. One thing that makes chastity play unique in the world of BDSM is the fact that the dominant is always responsible for their slave’s safety. The dominant is always named the Keyholder. She holds the key to the chastity device (and hopefully a spare!). That means the servant should fully trust his Mistress.

In most cases, it takes a while to adjust to the chastity relationship. Both the slave and the Mistress will need to communicate their responsibilities. As evident, a dominant and submissive relationship goes much deeper than simply locking up your manwhore’s cock and defiling his asshole.

If done correctly, chastity play can take your intimacy to a whole new level. You will need to consider the most private aspects of your relationship. Plus, chastity play requires constant learning, understanding, and communication.

How to Get Off

So how can the dominant and the submissive take pleasure from chastity play? Obviously, punishment is the first thing to come to mind for many people. The male will not be able to get access to his penis. Sex, masturbation, as well as daily life, could become difficult for him. The submissive can get off on exactly that — the idea of being a sissy chastity slave. On the other hand, the dominant can get aroused by being in complete control over the slave’s manhood.

The most common kink in chastity play is to come to some form of arrangement between the male and the Keyholder. For example, you could free your man in exchange for a half-hour asshole or pussy worshipping session. You can also agree on how long your man will wear the device, what else he would need to do in exchange, and what you could do for him. You could keep him locked up for days without giving him any release. Then, you could free him and order him to jerk off without ever even touching you.

On the other hand, we’ve also mentioned that chastity play can be useful for improving a partner’s self-control. That way, the dominant/submissive relationship can be less extreme. Even if you’re not into BDSM, you could use chastity cages or belts to prolong sexual release.

Sadism and Masochism (SM) — Painplay

Sadism and masochism are a major part of male chastity play. However, before you try it, it’s always crucial to be extra careful. Like we’ve mentioned above, you’ll have to outline the boundaries of your relationship and make safety your top priority.

First Things First

What’s more, S&M chastity play doesn’t always have to be hardcore. If you’re aroused by it, spanking or whipping may be good enough for you. Of course, if you are trying chastity play, the chances are that the Keyholder will be the one inflicting the pain. Painplay can be as simple as keeping your man’s dick and balls locked up for longer than he can handle, to the point of torturing him.

In other cases, the Keyholder can fully dominate the male, both physically and mentally. The possibilities here are truly endless!

Chastity Painplay Explained

One of the best approaches is to set some chastity rules. Then, punish your partner if he breaks them. For instance, he might sneak in a couple of strokes while you free his penis for cleaning. If guilty, you could choose how to discipline him.

As the Goddess or the Keyholder, you can incorporate various S&M fetishes and tools. Try leashes, whips, collars, spreaders, gimp suits, ball-gags, wax, hogties, hoods, etc. What’s more, your words could also be your greatest weapon if your man gets off through verbal abuse. Insulting his “pathetic and useless little cock” or using various swear words could be an excellent way to stimulate his masochistic desires. If you tease him while locked up, he could wriggle in pain, unable to get an erection. That alone could be exhausting, and he may never even think about being disobedient again.

What’s more, one of the most popular chastity play kinks is cock and ball torture. If approached carefully, it could be a hot fetish for both sides. The Keyholder could get tons of pleasure from freeing her property, only to torture it right afterward.

However, it’s essential only to practice it safely and for short periods. This type of painplay is also highly arousing to chastity subs that experience sexual pleasure from pain. Straps, ropes, and belts can exert a special form of pressure on the male’s freed genitalia. There are many ways to tease and torture it, ranging from tugging, squeezing, and even other more extreme methods. Again, if you’re trying this one, take special care to avoid any health concerns.

Financial Domination (Findom)

Male chastity fits perfectly into findom, also known as financial domination. The Keyholder gets to make the majority of the financial decisions in a relationship. Ultimately, she gains control over the slave’s finances without offering anything in return. There are several ways of enacting this fetish during chastity play.

For instance, the Keyholder can keep her man locked up while spending his finances on expensive gifts and sexy lingerie. Then, the woman can show off her newly acquired items to the slave without freeing him. She can force the slave to watch in humiliation with no sign of physical and sexual contact. It’s a rather simple fetish that is triggered on a mental level. However, findom is not as common as some of the kinks that we’ve discussed previously.

Is It All About the Money?

It’s imperative to note that this fetish is not intended to exploit the male sub unethically. Findom is actually a type of power play. In it, the sub receives psychological pleasure through financial humiliation and not through sexual acts. The chastity slave will relinquish control over his financial assets. Then, his lack of control will give him satisfaction.

In this fetish, the sub is sometimes referred to as the “human ATM,” “paypig,” or “cash pig,” while the female is called the “findomme,” “money mistress,” or “cash master.” It may be a sensitive subject to outline exactly why spending money on women can be sexualized. However, in the context of chastity, the male “money slave” takes pleasure in findom due to his lack of control and his service to the Keyholder.

As for the Mistress, she will also take pleasure in humiliating her slave through financial domination. She can tease and humiliate him by flaunting her newly acquired items in front of him without releasing his cock. She can also purchase new chastity devices with the slave’s money and humiliate him verbally, directly insulting his locked up manhood.

If you’re considering findom, it’s vital to establish some financial boundaries beforehand. For instance, you should only practice it with the money you can afford to spend. As a rule, Keyholders should not take advantage of their partners through findom. Therefore, it may be best to practice it only with a trusted partner.

Nevertheless, this type of psychological and financial dominance could work incredibly well when combined with chastity play. Of course, you may modify the rules a bit and mix the fetish with other forms of chastity play.

Orgasm Delay/Denial

And now we’ve come to the juiciest fetish that is most probably almost always associated with male chastity play: orgasm delay or denial! Edging or extreme orgasm denial can be the ultimate form of control during chastity play for both sides. In the case of orgasm postponement, the goal is to tease the slave mercilessly. You can arouse him verbally or physically to bring him to the edge but never allow him the release.

Why You Should Postpone His Orgasm

Admittedly, the slave’s orgasm is already postponed when he is locked up. If the guy has been in the cage for a few days, the chances are that his balls will be ready to explode. However, the Keyholder can still deny him the right to cum after unlocking the chastity device. It can be a frustrating and humiliating experience suited only for the best dominatrix and slave. Yet again, the Keyholder has the final say here. She can decide on the punishment if the slave cums too early and doesn’t obey the instructions. If you’ve been building up his orgasm for a few days in the cage and relishing the thought of his poor swollen balls, you could try various things after freeing him. Anything from verbal teasing to bondage and penetration can make him lose his mind.

Ultimately, the point is to bring the male close to cumming, which takes self-control and dedication. It will definitely be worth it once you finally allow him to ejaculate. Conversely, the Keyholder doesn’t always have to do it for the sake of female domination. For instance, you can delay the orgasm to build up to a massive release. You can keep your slave locked up for days with the aim of teasing both of you. After some sessions in which you’ll purposely postpone his orgasm, you’ll have a massive load all for yourself. That could be particularly arousing if the Keyholder has a cum fetish. You can take advantage of his massive load after, but only if you allow it.

Orgasm Denial

With orgasm denial, you will not let the slave ejaculate at all. The Keyholder can unlock and tease him in various ways to bring him to orgasm. But just before he ejaculates, the Keyholder may deny him the right to do so entirely. For the Keyholder, orgasm denial may lead to an even greater sense of power and control. And for the slave, denial could increase the feelings of submission, as well as objectification. After that, you could move on to ruining his orgasms entirely.

Prostate Play and Milking

In chastity play, milking is among the kinkiest things you could do to a slave. It’s the ultimate form of chastity humiliation — you force the sub to cum in a way that does not make him feel good. You can do that by stimulating only the prostate through anal penetration. It’s especially effective in chastity play, but it differs from a common prostate massage.

How to Milk Him

During milking, the Keyholder will only exert pressure on the slave’s prostate. She will not give him pleasure through any other means. The slave’s cock will be freed, but the Keyholder should restrain him in some way. You can also penetrate him while he is still locked up, depending on the chastity device. As the Mistress, you can play with the male’s asshole and penetrate him, but without ever touching his manhood.

The goal is to put pressure on the prostate gland (aka a man’s G spot). The Keyholder can use various toys like dildos, buttplugs, and special massagers to do so. It’s common to use fingers; however, sometimes, they can be too short to reach the spot. When you penetrate the anus and rectum, you’ll find the prostate about an inch on the inside. It will have a walnut-like shape. It’s possible to bring a man to orgasm just by stimulating this spot for some time (10 to 30 minutes). However, while some men enjoy anal sex and rimming together with handjobs, blowjobs, and similar, milking is an entirely different sensation.

Once you reach the prostate and stimulate it without any other physical contact, the slave will have a forced orgasm. He can get off on the thought of being humiliated and used without receiving anything in return. The feeling of helplessness and the pain of intense anal penetration will also stimulate him both mentally and physically.

Why It’s Hot

For the Keyholder, the possibilities are endless. The Mistress can get a strong sense of empowerment while penetrating her man. It’s possible to position the slave in many ways. You could, for instance, tie his legs up behind his head, milk him, and if you free him, make him ejaculate all over himself. If your servant is still locked up, you can use a strap-on to fuck him and force him to cum via the prostate. In short, prostate play is the best way to turn him into your dirty little slut and degrade him completely! Plus, there are many other things to try after milking, like cum consumption, ruined orgasms, cock torture, etc.

However, keep in mind that, while milking and anal penetration is safe, the anus is sensitive. If you overdo it, the massage could result in injury and damage. Additionally, milking could be a difficult technique to learn. If it’s impossible for the male to cum only through prostate milking at first, you could try other forms of stimulation. As the Keyholder, you could tug our touch his balls or stimulate his penis. The trick is to bring your servant close to cumming, deny him the right to do so, and then stimulate his prostate.

Final Thoughts

You can approach chastity play from several different angles, and that’s why it is so interesting to BDSM lovers. The slave/Keyholder relationship is incredibly versatile, and it’s a huge turn-on for both sides! There are many other things you can try as a couple during chastity play, but we’ve listed the hottest and nastiest kinks that you should definitely start with. Hopefully, our tips and guidelines have inspired you to get a hold of some chastity devices and try this unique, kink-filled lifestyle.