For many, the simple act of wearing a chastity cage is a pretty humiliating experience. But humiliation can be a powerful tool for a Mistress to wield when dominating a submissive, and it’s one of my favorites.
And once you experience it for yourself, it will probably be one of your favourite’s too…
Let Mistress Guide You… (Contents)
What is Chastity Humiliation?
Humiliation is something nearly everyone is familiar with. Something happens which causes you to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or that others look at you in a different way. The feeling isn’t particularly pleasant, so naturally we want to avoid it.
Chastity humiliation is exactly the same thing, but within a chastity environment.
Sometimes this is used in a specific way or at a specific time, which is usually referred to as a “humiliation scene”. For some chastity relationships though, humiliation forms a core part of the dynamic, as both the Dominant and submissive enjoy it enough to actively pursue it.
How to Humiliate a Chastity Submissive
While the concept of humiliation is fairly simple, there are many, many different ways for a Dominant to cause their submissive to feel humiliated. How you choose to do it will be a personal decision, and largely down to the kinds of things you do and don’t enjoy doing during your chastity sessions.
For example: One submissive might love dressing in women’s clothing, wearing make-up, and exploring other aspects of sissy play. For this submissive, making them into a sissy isn’t going to be very humiliating, whereas for a different submissive it could be extremely humiliating.
It’s up to you to figure out what works! But to get you started, here are some of my favorite techniques…
Verbal Humiliation
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me…”
But, they do. The things we say to one another can be incredibly powerful, and depending on what you say, very hurtful. But for our purposes, they can also be very humiliating.
There are many, many different ways to use words in chastity humiliation, so you’ll need to think carefully about the kinds of things that are likely to have an impact with your submissive. When I’m humiliating a slave, I like to group these into three rough categories:
- How you speak to the submissive.
- Things you say to the submissive.
- How you talk about the submissive.
They might sound similar, but each of these categories is subtly different and provides a Dominant control over different kinds of situations. How you speak to the submissive is about the tone of voice, directness, and nicknames you might use for them. Things you say to the submissive is a much more direct way of humiliating them, such as making fun of them for having a small penis or being weak. How you talk about the submissive comes into play in more public settings, such as discussing his shortcomings with a friend (in front of the submissive).
The most important thing about verbal humiliation is just to practise though! It can be awkward, and difficult at first. But the more you do it, the more you’ll figure out what makes the submissive tick, which makes it much easier to use again in the future.
Physical Humiliation
Wearing a cage is the first step a submissive takes into the realm of physical humiliation, but it’s only the beginning…
As you might expect from the name, physical humiliation covers anything that involves a physical act to create the feeling. There’s a whole spectrum of activities to explore here, so I like to separate them into two groups:
- Discreet physical humiliation.
- Direct physical humiliation.
Note: We aren’t talking about anything sexual yet. We’ll cover that soon.
Direct physical humiliation is quite simple, so we’ll start there. Imagine you’re in a cafe with some friends. Your submissive acts in a way that you disapprove of. So, you scold him then and there. You bend him over your knee and spank him. In front of everyone.
It’s a powerful thought, and this kind of humiliation won’t be for everyone, but some submissives love it. Basically anything you can think of that carries a physical act, and is very obvious for anyone to see falls under direct physical humiliation.
Discreet physical humiliation is much more subtle, and sometimes much more impactful. Here’s were talking about things like carrying the shopping because “he’s a weak pathetic man”, ordering his food for him because “he struggles to make decisions”, or taking on some of the typically masculine jobs because “he won’t know how to do it”.
These things often remove some of his masculinity, and the effect can build up over time. Anything that might make a passerby take a second look, or cause the submissive to feel some kind of shame that his Dominant has to do things for him falls into the discreet bucket.
Again, you’ll need to do some experimentation. Some submissives are simply too dense to even realise you’re humiliating them discreetly, while others will be completely opposed to the idea of something direct. Figure out what works, and keep doing it.
Fetish Humiliation
After working with a submissive for a while, we often move into the realm of fetish humiliation. Simply put, there are some things that all of us might not like doing sexually, and making the submissive do it is humiliating!
The most common form of fetish humiliation (which goes hand in hand with chastity devices) is orgasm denial. For most men, being desperate to orgasm and not being allowed to is plenty humiliating. So usually a chastity relationship’s first steps into fetish play is to experiment with something like edging.
But once you move beyond the basics, the world is your oyster. Perhaps you explore feminization and sissy play. Maybe you try out cum play. Or perhaps you take on a fully dominant role and only provide pegging as a form of sexual pleasure for him.
We have lots of different articles covering different fetishes here on Lock the Cock, so take some time to read through and think about how your submissive might react to them. But remember, just because it’s humiliating, it doesn’t need to be unpleasant. Being humiliated (especially sexually) can be a massive turn on for a submissive, so he’s allowed to enjoy it!
Humiliating Chastity Punishments
As you enter your chastity relationship, you should be creating a chastity contract which outlines the rules that the submissive must obey, and the punishments that will be given if they disobey these rules. This is another fantastic avenue to explore with regards to humiliation.
One of my favourite (and simple) ways to utilise this is a simple contract clause: “Each time you break a rule, you must tell someone about your pledge.”
This kind of punishment is delightfully exciting. At first he’ll tell someone close and trusted and it won’t be a big deal. Then he’ll move onto friends and acquaintances that are a little embarrassing to tell. Eventually he’ll be weighing up whether he tells his boss or his dentist!
With punishments, you’ll often find that the threat of humiliation is much more powerful than the actual act. The submissive wants to avoid it, which makes them much more amenable to following the rules and behaving themselves.
Feel free to think of your own humiliating punishments to incorporate into your contract, and enjoy watching him squirm at the thought of them.
Humiliation Red Lines
Unlike many other aspects of male chastity, it’s very easy for chastity humiliation to turn into outright degradation or insults. Even though you’re exploring an unpleasant feeling, both parties should still be enjoying the experience.
So as always, we refer back to the creed “Safe, Sane and Consensual”. Both parties should avoid anything likely to cause injury, be of sound mind, and agree to what’s going to happen.
That means lots of talking! Don’t just wake up one morning and decide “today when he misbehaves I’m going to clip a lead on him and walk him like a dog”. Sit down and explain to the other party that you want to explore humiliation, that these are the kinds of things you were thinking about, and these things are off limits.
If as the Dominant, you’re ever unsure if something will cross the line, ask him first! It’s so much better to “ruin the surprise” than to accidentally go too far and put a submissive off humiliation play forever.
Always Check In After Humiliation Play
We’ll finish up with a quick note about aftercare, just like you should after humiliating your submissive.
While it’s simple to have an “aftercare session” after some more intense fetish play like bondage or pegging, humiliation play is a little different. It tends to get woven into the relationship, popping up at random times throughout a day, so aftercare is often overlooked.
My favourite techniques are very simple. First, a regularly scheduled check in. This could be weekly, monthly, or even at the end of the day. Just a simple opportunity for either side to say “I wasn’t comfortable with that”. This provides an opportunity to discuss things that might become blended into a “normal day” like nicknames.
When I do something a little more extreme (like the public spanking session mentioned earlier), I like to try and find a quiet moment shortly afterwards where I can check in with the submissive, and dial it back a little. This stops things getting too out of hand in an environment where the submissive might not feel like they can stop it.
Maintaining your aftercare routine will ensure that humiliation stays fun, for both sides.
So, all that’s left is for you to go forth and humiliate!
