Humiliation play, just like anything else in the wonderfully kinky world of BDSM, should be done right. So to all the ladies who are just now dipping their toes into the waters of being a Mistress, here is a solid piece of advice from a pro — even if you’re an eager amateur rather than a seasoned pro, don’t let it show.
If your partner has a male chastity device or humiliation fetish, or you think that would be a solid business move for you (Humiliatrixes are getting all that dough, honey), learn to do it right. Submissive men are easy to manipulate, dominate, and, of course, humiliate. Femdom is a booming industry for a reason, you know.
But (there’s always a but), doing humiliation play right means tailoring it to the needs of your male slave. Humiliation, and particularly chastity humiliation, is a popular fantasy. Men love to be dominated, put in their place, and controlled. However, you can’t merely stick his dick in a cage, tell him he’s a male slut, and call it a day. That’s not how BDSM works.
Why Humiliate Your Slave?
The “female humiliating male” kink, and especially chastity humiliation, is all about dominance. However, more than that, it’s about a complete exchange of power and control between you, the Mistress, and your sub. Humiliation leads to sexual pleasure and gratification for the dominant female. The male, on the other hand, gets pleasure from submitting, being vulnerable, exposed, and at the mercy of his superior Mistress.
His only goal is to please her (even though he knows he never could because he’s incapable and insufficient). The fact that the sub is aroused and denied a sexual outlet only enhances the gratification on both sides — yours because, well, talk about a rush, and his because it contributes to the humiliation.
Whether he thinks he deserves it or it arouses him (it’s usually both — trust me) doesn’t particularly matter. All it matters is that he wants it, and you want to provide it for him, which is the point I’m trying to drive home for all you baby Femdoms out there.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual
So male humiliation as a kink isn’t as rare as some people of the vanilla persuasion seem to think. A male submissive often feels inadequate, unworthy, and not manly enough. He yearns to please but knows he can’t.
The pleasure from femdom and humiliation works both ways, and both parties end up satisfied. Let me tell you — you haven’t experienced sexual ecstasy until you’ve driven your chastity slave further into submission by making him watch you spasm with orgasms while another person or a machine fucks you the way he never could (or at least thinks he couldn’t).
But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself here. This whole delicious scenario won’t work unless your male sissy is open to having a third person in the room, being put in a cock cage, etc. That’s why every scene needs to be negotiated ahead of time. Before any interaction, the Mistress and the sub need to hash out what’s acceptable, what the potential triggers are, and what might damage your slave’s headspace.
Safewords and Aftercare
You’re not aiming to emotionally (or physically) scar your chastity slave here. Thus, you need to know if any words or behaviors would trigger him or make him feel unsafe. You need to be consistent and straightforward with both the negotiations and the punishments. Furthermore, you need to establish safewords (or use the basic traffic light system) and follow up every scene with aftercare.
Now that we know the basics, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and the thing you’re here to see — my favorite pro tips, tricks, and punishments!
What’s the Best Humiliating Language to Use?
When it comes to humiliation, verbal abuse is the best way to achieve what you’re going for. It’s a common occurrence in the slave’s life because it goes hand in hand with submission. The objective is to make the male slave feel vulnerable, not good enough, put in his place, and ultimately, totally debased.
Humiliation Is Subjective
When you’re thinking about all the names and humiliating acts you could use in a scene with your slave, think (and talk!) about what he would like and dislike, and then act accordingly. That’s the only way you’ll be able to provide what he craves and deserves — humiliation. There’s no gratification in making your slave wear sexy lingerie and calling him a slut if he actually likes that. You need to make him feel inferior because, ultimately, he really is.
Luckily, the male ego is so fragile and delicate, and his self-esteem so brittle that it will take almost no effort at all to break them and make them submit. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun as hell to do it!
Be Creative With the Nicknames
If you’re texting, emailing, or communicating in written form in general, address your slave by writing his name in lowercase letters. It’s a subtle humiliation that lets him know he’s not worthy of a properly capitalized name.
Bitch or doll also work well because those are generally associated with women. This act of feminization will serve as a reminder of his inadequacy. If bitch is too plain for you, and you’d like to insult his manhood, go with boyslut or boywhore (because he’s no man, after all, he’s barely a boy!), gimp, worm, pet, and any other nickname that could humiliate him.
You can also fall back to the trusty nicknames that the toxic males have used to catcall women for decades and even centuries. Sweetie, darling, cutie, honey, and similar nicknames generally associated with girls sometimes work better than dirty ones for some male slaves. Just make sure to say them in the most condescending way.
Exploit All Avenues for Abuse
But why stop here? If your slave has issues with his appearance, humiliate him by pointing out each and every one of his flaws. Too fat to get it up, too skinny to fuck me properly, etc. — use every shortcoming he has (or thinks he has) against him. If he has some queer tendencies, utilize that! Call him a cockslut, a cocklover, or a cumhole, and prove that he is one by pegging him and making him beg for release.
Nicknames Aren’t Just for Him
Don’t forget the best part of verbal humiliation — cock nicknames. I personally consider cock to be a powerful word. It evokes particular emotions (just like the word cunt). Therefore, I never use it when I’m actually referring to my slave’s penis. Instead, I use cute nicknames when talking about that sad, limp chunk of meat. I suggest you do the same.
Little thing, tiny thing, teeny-tiny thing, and other variations that draw attention to how small the penis actually is are amazing. Furthermore, feminization also plays a significant role here, at least for me, and I love to nickname the slave’s penis with words generally reserved for female genitalia. Oh, there’s nothing better than calling his penis a pathetic tiny clit or a boy pussy!
Pairing Verbal Humiliation With Punishments
Verbal humiliation works well enough on its own. However, why not go for a double whammy and pair it up with punishment? Humiliation, making your slave feel embarrassed and emasculated, and degradation, making him feel like not only less than a man but also less than a human, usually go hand in hand.
For example, putting a chastity device on your slave and making fun of his tiny clit-like dick that could never please you goes perfectly with the degrading punishment of making him act like a piece of furniture. He’s not man enough to fuck you to completion anyway, so why not make him act like the footstool that he is, right? It’s an amazingly entertaining and efficient punishment! You can also release him from the cage and make him use his cock as a towel holder. He has to maintain his erection, or else he’ll get severely punished!
Punishments in the Bedroom
The bedroom is where we can get really creative with punishments. Chastity is all about teasing, orgasm and pleasure denial, and humiliation. As the Keyholder, you have all the power. You’re the one who decides when (if at all) your slave will get any release.
The chastity device drives the slave further into submission and highlights the humiliating fact that he can’t penetrate or use his genitalia the way he’s supposed to.
Prolong the Torture
I like to make my slaves wear their chastity devices for long periods, especially when we’re not together. He can’t sneak an orgasm or two without me knowing (he hasn’t earned it, after all) if he’s wearing a cock cage. So I make my slaves wear the cages for a week or two at a time. It keeps them right where I want them — on the edge and desperate. Then, when we meet, I make them jump through excruciating hoop after hoop before I allow them the most humiliating orgasm of their life. Here’s what I mean by that.
After wearing the cock cage for a few weeks, my slave will be allowed to come and see me. However, he has to endure several rounds of verbal and physical humiliation before we even get to the bedroom. For example, he has to dress in lingerie, paint his nails, and do his makeup. I like to tread on the thin line of praising him for his excellent makeup skills (he’s such a good girl) and insulting him for not doing a good enough job.
Tease Him Like There’s No Tomorrow
If your slave doesn’t respond well to sissy play, you can switch things up. Make him walk around naked on all fours. Because he’s so desperate, tease him by walking seductively around, bending over, and showing him everything he can’t have. You can invite a third party to fuck you while the slave does nothing but watch. The third person will pleasure you in ways the slave never could — make sure to really drive that point home while you’re fucking the other person.
Set a timer on his chastity but keep reminding him how much time he has until he can come. Also, make sure to add time to the lockup for every faux pas he makes. As his desperation grows, make him serve you. If he’s been a good boy, he can kneel in front of you and pleasure you orally. For a bit of extra fun, put a tongue clamp on him, and then make him service you with a sore tongue. If he doesn’t make you orgasm fast enough, punish him by prolonging his cage time.
Using Sex Toys
You can get even more creative with sex toys. Nipple clamps, bondage gear, gags, masks, and dildos all pair up beautifully with chastity devices. Use all of these to inflict pain or increase his arousal. However, always keep denying him orgasms. Use a dildo to fuck him and stimulate his prostate to the point of severe overstimulation. Ease up every now and then to make the pleasure burst through him — that will show him he’s a cockslut.
Don’t let the slave orgasm until you say so. Edge him as much as he’s able to take. Delay his orgasms by tugging, punching, or stepping on his balls. Of course, always keep safety in mind, and be firm but gentle (and no heels!).
However, if you notice that he’s going to orgasm anyway, humiliate him verbally while he does so, saying how disappointed you are in him and what a lousy slave he is.
When the time for the big finish comes, make your slave come on your shoes and then make him lick it off. Alternatively, lay him on his back, with his legs in the air as close to his shoulders as he can get them. That way, his cock is extra close to his face, and he’ll come all over himself. Don’t let him get cleaned up for the rest of the day.
You can also make him kneel on rice or corn while he masturbates or make him hump your boots, pieces of furniture, the floor, or simply make him hump air until he comes without any direct stimulation.
The Best of Both Worlds
You can also try a variation of cum eating that combines punishments inside and outside of the bedroom. Make the slave eat his cum by feeding it to him, or making him lick it off the floor, windows, bathroom tiles, toilet bowl, etc. On the other hand, you can save the cum for future meals. Freeze it in an ice-cube tray or a popsicle maker. That way, you’ll have a sweet humiliating treat for your slave for the next session.
Punishments Outside of the Bedroom
When it comes to humiliating punishments outside of the bedroom, I like to start with simple, degrading and dirty house chores. When you’re a Dominant woman, you never really have to worry about your house being clean!
Always Make Him Dress Up
Make your slave wear a diaper over his chastity device and stick a pacifier in his mouth. He should crawl around like a baby while cleaning the house. You can even switch outfits up — lingerie, French maid costume, nothing but high heels on, etc.
While your slave is cooking and cleaning, you should lounge around and comment on how bad of a job he’s doing. Insult his accomplishments, the execution of tasks, his intelligence, and appearance. Furthermore, you can pump up the volume by assigning him a job that you know he won’t be able to complete (set an impossible time limit or simply come up with a difficult task), and then ridicule him for not being able to do it.
Sleeping and Dining Arrangements
Make your slave sleep on the floor, in the bathroom, or the dog house (if you have a secluded yard). Furthermore, make him address himself in the third person by using your favorite nicknames. He’s not worthy of the first-person pronouns after all.
When mealtime comes around, make sure to give your slave nothing but scraps. He can eat them off the floor without using his hands, like the animal he is. If you’re dining out, make sure to order for him and pick an unsatisfactory meal.
Begging Is a Must
Whenever the slave wants something, he should beg for it. His only purpose is to serve and please you. Therefore, give him creative tasks that might earn him the chance to unlock his chastity cage. Of course, always prolong that moment as much as possible.
Make the slave shave his legs and pubic area. After that, he should apply women’s lotion and then get back to his household chores. Washing your delicates or polishing your boots are always good little chores. You can also make him carry you around, or you can ride him like a pony. He can serve as a piece of furniture or service you in a non-sexual way — by painting your toenails or massaging your sore muscles.
Public humiliation is where you’ll have to get a bit ingenious. You can’t actually humiliate your slave in public the same way you would in a private setting. If there are people around you, always remember that, unlike your slave and you, they didn’t sign up to participate in your scene. Therefore, they didn’t consent.
So try to contain your public humiliation to semi-public or private areas that only seem public. Don’t expose the poor, misguided, and uninformed vanilla passers-by to your kinky world.
When He’s Out and About
Make your slave wear lingerie over his chastity device, then have him dress in regular clothing and send him to the store. Write him a humiliating grocery list. Make him buy tampons, extra-small condoms, cucumbers and eggplants with lube, and more.
You can also tell your slave to buy a remote-controlled butt plug. Make him wear both the butt plug and the chastity device to work or in public, and turn the plug on without warning. Torture him as much as you can. However, make sure not to interfere with his private or professional life and always make sure to get a green light for these actions beforehand.
Torture your slave by keeping him alert. For example, make him take a picture of his dick in the cage and then make him set it as his phone background. He’ll always be reminded of his humiliation while simultaneously trying to keep the image away from everyone in his regular life.
While He’s the Cinderella of the House
If you have friends who are as kinky as you are (and thus consenting), invite them over for dinner. Make your slave serve them naked or in an outfit of your choosing. He can do it on all fours with nothing but the chastity device on him.
Alternatively, leave him in the room, gagged and displayed, while you chat with your friends about how worthless he is. He cannot participate in the socializing, and he should eat dinner from a bowl or the floor after you finish.
A Few Parting Words
As you can see, the possibilities for chastity humiliation are endless. If you’re a beginner, go easy on both yourself and your male slave and work your way toward the “big guns,” such as introducing other people to your scenes. Always make sure you take care of your slave after you’re done with a scene and to check in during play (especially when you’re trying something new).