A chastity pledge is full of exciting experiences and themes. Temptation and teasing, restriction and denial, control and dominance, and… contracts? Well they may not be quite as exciting, but contracts are definitely an important part of any chastity relationship.
Spending the time at the beginning to clearly lay out what each person can expect from the relationship, how each person should behave, and what punishments or rewards are on offer can avoid a lot of problems later in the relationship. But a contract isn’t just something you do once and forget about. It should be regularly reviewed and updated to make sure it’s still relevant to your chastity experience.
So how do you write a contract? What should it contain? How often should you review it? Let’s find out in our closer look at chastity contracts.
Do You Need a Male Chastity Contract?
Naturally, your first question is often going to be whether or not you need to bother writing a contract. After all, not all chastity relationships are permanent arrangements. Sometimes you just like to play with the cage in the bedroom now and again.
Even if you’re only enjoying chastity occasionally, we still recommend sitting down and laying out the expectations ahead of time. This is true of any kind of BDSM play. When you start exploring some of the darker sides of sex, it can be easy for someone to take something too far, or to explore something that you didn’t ever really want to. Your contract is what protects against this, letting you set limits and expectations before the play begins.
To put it simply: Everyone needs a chastity contract!
How Do You Write A Chastity Contract?
So you need a contract. But how do you get one? Does it involve an awkward trip to a lawyer’s office? Well luckily chastity contracts aren’t legal documents so you don’t need to do anything that extreme.
Just like when you bring up chastity with your partner when you first decide you want to try it, your contract should start with an open and honest conversation. You should talk about:
- What you want from the relationship.
- What things you’d like each person to do.
- How long the slave will need to wear the cage.
- How often cleaning sessions will happen, and whether they’ll be supervised.
- Any red lines. These are things you don’t want to do during your chastity play and should be considered off limits. A common example is anal play.
- Any punishments or rewards that the slave can earn.
- When the slave will receive orgasms or other sexual activity.
- What happens if any person breaks the agreed contract.
- How often you’ll review your contract.
Don’t consider the above an exhaustive list, or a set of mandatory requirements. Take the time to discuss your needs and tailor the contract to your own chastity relationship.
Formalizing The Rules: Femdom And Slave Examples
While you discuss the contract, you’ll probably want to take notes so that you don’t forget any of the things you decide. But once you’re finished, you’ll probably have a pile of notes that aren’t in any particular order and could be easily lost.
This is where you should formalize the contract. It’s up to you how far you take this, but at the very least you should type up your notes and make sure they’re clear to everyone involved. If you like, you can use more official sounding language to make the contract seem more real, or stick to a more informal style.
For example, it might simply state something like:
“I [name] hereby relinquish control of my penis to [Mistress name]. I promise to keep my penis locked in a cage and will only remove it when given permission. I promise to follow her instructions and fulfill my role as a slave to the best of my abilities.”
Or for a more formal contract, it might look like this:
“This contract is between [name] (henceforth referred to as “slave”) and [Mistress’s name] (henceforth referred to as “Mistress”).”
“After signing this contract slave agrees to give Mistress complete control of his penis, and agrees to wear a cock cage for [period of time]. The cage will be removed every Tuesday for cleaning, but otherwise can only be removed with Mistress’s express permission.”
“Slave is expected to provide Mistress with one orgasm every two days, either orally or through the use of sex toys. Slave is not allowed to cum while doing this.”
And so on…
For the really enthusiastic, you might even want to group and itemize the different parts of the contract. That way when someone isn’t keeping to the rules you can refer to “Section three, paragraph eight: Slave’s daily chores”.
Once you’re happy with how your contract looks, you should both sign it. It might seem a little silly to sign a document that isn’t actually legally binding, but adding your signature helps add extra weight to the commitment that you’re making. This should be an important document to you, and you should want to stick to it.
When Should You Review Your Keyholder Chastity Contract?
Just writing up your contract nicely and signing it isn’t the end of the process. It’s just as important to regularly review your contract and update it accordingly.
How often you do this is up to you, but whatever period of time you choose it’s a good idea to make it a part of your contract. Once a month is quite a common interval that lets you keep it up to date without making it another chore you have to do all the time.
When your contract review rolls around, it’s a very simple process. Just go through each of the clauses one by one, and make sure that they still apply to your relationship. You might have tried something and not enjoyed it, so want to add it to your list of no-gos. You might be ready to take on some longer lock up periods. Or you might want to add some additional punishments and rewards to your dynamic.
Whatever changes you decide to make, type your contract up again and sign the updated version. You also shouldn’t be afraid to ask for a contract review at other points, if something important comes up that should be addressed sooner rather than later.
Start Your Pledge the Right Way
Starting your chastity journey can be an exciting time, but spending a little effort at the beginning can make it even better. If you're still unsure, take a look at what our friends over at /r/chastitytraining is discussing. Once you’re ready with your contract, head to our chastity cage collection and choose your next prison now.